K +7

 

It’s been 2 nights of no sleeping due to a combination of discomfort/pain and narcotic pain meds. Tonight….no narcs! Using a sleep aid instead. Hopefully that powers past the discomfort. 

Pain management is a challenge. I hate taking meds and it’s hard for me to quantify or acknowledge the discomfort as pain. I’ve had pain pretty consistently since around 1987 when I first started back pain as a result of my fall in 1983. I’ve become accustomed to the discomfort so daytime I don’t really use anything but Tylenol. Nighttime though is a problem because when the pain is bad enough to keep you awake, you aren’t getting the rest needed for recovery. If you have a surgery coming up, clearly identify your boundaries with pain and taking relief meds. 

Pain is a funny thing. It’s hard to quantify as it is so subjective and it’s different for every person. I found a pain chart at the doctor’s office a couple of years ago and it gave me good context. Pain that is distracting you from other stuff is a level 5.  Ok, that’s cool. Now I can tell the doctor.  But it also helped me understand that with some “mid-level” pain, I might not be able to complete other tasks.  It also taught me that the pain I had been having, which I called “mild to moderate discomfort” was actually pretty severe. I was always aware of the pain, so I couldn’t do other things which is like a level 7-8 where I thought it was like a 3-4. I have also come to appreciate the need to get pain relief as part of the healing process. I still put up with too much discomfort during the day but I’m getting better. 

Another tool people use to manage discomfort is ice. Never been a fan of icing. Seemed counterintuitive to me…still does to a degree. You need oxygenated blood to the damaged tissues to promote healing but icing reduces blood flow (reduces swelling).  What was worse, that I just recognized this year, is that for me, putting ice on an extremity is interpreted as pain by my brain. Oh? that’s why I hate it! But, old dog is using a new trick “cryocuff” style ice machine.  It’s interesting as I don’t register it as pain.  I’m not sure if it is doing anything but I’m giving it a shot. 

In clinic PT today was mostly massage and patella mobilization. Pretty easy and less ambitious than last time, which is kind of nice. Able to do my home exercises and even took some unassisted steps. Will be nice to get rid of the walker as it creates its own set of problems. 

Thanks to all who have reached out and thanks to all who have read along.  If I do anything, don’t hesitate to ask. 

K +6

 

Summer before last, my best friend and I were driving out of Rock Creek after fishing when we came across an “old guy” walking along the river on the road.  He had a fish on his line and from the bend in his fishing stick, it looked like a dandy. We stopped so we could watch, giving him plenty of room to do battle.  KC rolled down his window and I hollered my willingness to get a photo.  The fisher was appreciative and continued his fight. At about the same time, KC and I realized he wasn’t going down the bank to the river’s edge to land the fish.  He couldn’t. His advanced age had gotten the best of him, rendering him less mobile, unable to descend the 3 or 4 feet of loose, rocky material to net his prize. I quickly retrieved my net, slid (fell, tumbled, crashed) down the bank and did the honors.  I brought the beauty up the slope and used his phone to take a picture of him, and the fish he was obviously very proud of. 

This 80-something guy had the love of fishing in his blood.  He “wanted” to so badly.  He still had the skills to deliver his fly and hook a fish, he just couldn’t complete the loop because of the challenge of the bank at this spot. As I slid down the bank, I understood, as I was pretty “mobility challenged” at that point.  Today I empathize even more as I work on my recovery. It seems “when you can’t, the more you want to” is the affliction I saw in that fisherman that day, that I see in myself this day.  

I know one day I “will” again, to the degree I “can,” and that is ok.  I can live with that. What I won’t be able to live with is the day when I no longer have the “want.”

K +5

 

Back in the gym today! Started with my normal movement regiment, flailing my arms about. It was immediately noticeable how good it felt to be doing something. Even sitting on my gym bench was great.  My workout consisted of some dumbbell work for my shoulders, back and chest. It wasn’t a lot, but it was something and I can feel it. I’ll be curious to see how this works for my mental health.

Got a couple of rounds of PT in today also.  It feels like I am being proactive in my recovery which is facilitated by the fact that I can do it this time.  Funny how one person can have such different experiences with the same surgery, same surgeon, etc.  PT movements feel like I am retraining muscles to fire in the right order to make a movement. 

Showered pretty much on my own today, needing very little assistance. Still hard to get my socks on but getting better. 

Also got a little bit of Redline work in which felt good.  I’m grateful it’s my slow period right now as concentrating for long periods is a lil challenging when I don’t feel well.  Helped a little with prepping dinner which was nice.  That’s my normal happy place so I have been looking forward to getting back to it.  As I write this, I can see I have done a lot today which explains a little extra soreness tonight. The trade-off is a better brain…..I’ll take it. Hopefully that leads to good sleep. 

Sleep is a thing. If you have one of these surgeries coming up, figure out your sleep routine, focus on your sleep hygiene so you can get consistent rest. In addition to sleep, rest is key.  For me, it is hard to slow down and let healing happen so I have identified things I can do to keep me on the couch. I also vary my rest locations to be couch, top of the bed, armchair, etc.