K +6

 

Summer before last, my best friend and I were driving out of Rock Creek after fishing when we came across an “old guy” walking along the river on the road.  He had a fish on his line and from the bend in his fishing stick, it looked like a dandy. We stopped so we could watch, giving him plenty of room to do battle.  KC rolled down his window and I hollered my willingness to get a photo.  The fisher was appreciative and continued his fight. At about the same time, KC and I realized he wasn’t going down the bank to the river’s edge to land the fish.  He couldn’t. His advanced age had gotten the best of him, rendering him less mobile, unable to descend the 3 or 4 feet of loose, rocky material to net his prize. I quickly retrieved my net, slid (fell, tumbled, crashed) down the bank and did the honors.  I brought the beauty up the slope and used his phone to take a picture of him, and the fish he was obviously very proud of. 

This 80-something guy had the love of fishing in his blood.  He “wanted” to so badly.  He still had the skills to deliver his fly and hook a fish, he just couldn’t complete the loop because of the challenge of the bank at this spot. As I slid down the bank, I understood, as I was pretty “mobility challenged” at that point.  Today I empathize even more as I work on my recovery. It seems “when you can’t, the more you want to” is the affliction I saw in that fisherman that day, that I see in myself this day.  

I know one day I “will” again, to the degree I “can,” and that is ok.  I can live with that. What I won’t be able to live with is the day when I no longer have the “want.”

K +5

 

Back in the gym today! Started with my normal movement regiment, flailing my arms about. It was immediately noticeable how good it felt to be doing something. Even sitting on my gym bench was great.  My workout consisted of some dumbbell work for my shoulders, back and chest. It wasn’t a lot, but it was something and I can feel it. I’ll be curious to see how this works for my mental health.

Got a couple of rounds of PT in today also.  It feels like I am being proactive in my recovery which is facilitated by the fact that I can do it this time.  Funny how one person can have such different experiences with the same surgery, same surgeon, etc.  PT movements feel like I am retraining muscles to fire in the right order to make a movement. 

Showered pretty much on my own today, needing very little assistance. Still hard to get my socks on but getting better. 

Also got a little bit of Redline work in which felt good.  I’m grateful it’s my slow period right now as concentrating for long periods is a lil challenging when I don’t feel well.  Helped a little with prepping dinner which was nice.  That’s my normal happy place so I have been looking forward to getting back to it.  As I write this, I can see I have done a lot today which explains a little extra soreness tonight. The trade-off is a better brain…..I’ll take it. Hopefully that leads to good sleep. 

Sleep is a thing. If you have one of these surgeries coming up, figure out your sleep routine, focus on your sleep hygiene so you can get consistent rest. In addition to sleep, rest is key.  For me, it is hard to slow down and let healing happen so I have identified things I can do to keep me on the couch. I also vary my rest locations to be couch, top of the bed, armchair, etc.  

K +3 and +4

 

Never got to an update last night as I was tired.  THAT is a thing.  I don’t do much during the day, but by the end of the day, I am exhausted.  The Physical Therapist told me to consider that I am healing 3 broken bones; femur, tibia and patella (as they resurfaced mine).  Healing that many broken bones makes you tired.  Oh yeah, I’m also 63 now so there is that I guess.  

Narcotics at night last night, likely tonight, just for sleep…and only one dose.  During the day, Tylenol only so I feel good about that.  After 2-3 days of narcotics, I have trouble sleeping so they are no bueno. And while we are on the topic of sleep, let’s touch on that.  I am normally a “fishy” sleeper meaning I flop around in the bed; side to side, on my back, partial stomach.  With this, I am forced to sleep mostly on my back but can get to my right side if I can get my good leg situated correctly.  I can’t lay my good leg on top of the fresh one as the pressure sideways on the new knee is excruciating.  Sleeping on the left side doesn’t work as there isn’t enough support under the new joint and it causes pain.

My amazing care provider and I had some honest conversation prior to surgery.  I am not always the best patient and emotionally, the last couple of years have been rough on us both during these recoveries.  If you have an upcoming surgery, I would consider having honest conversations with your caregiver about how you want/need to ask for help, how you let them know what you need, or how you can ask them for space.  Also, give your caregiver the space and words to say “Hey, I’m doing my best” or “don’t be a dick” because being the provider is hard, and it’s easy to forget to be grateful when we don’t feel well. Let them give you support the way they would do it, and when they make a mistake, give grace.  Perhaps they have no idea what you are going through.  

Tomorrow, I am going to try to get in the gym just to get the rest of my body a little movement.  I am sore from not doing enough!