We Are All More Alike Than We Are Different...Unfortunately!!

I was headed out this afternoon for a windy day dog walk when I crossed paths with a fisherman.  We talked briefly about fishing in this little lake, other fishing in the area and such.  I noticed he was wearing an City of Imperial Fire shirt so I asked if he is a firefighter.  Of course he is so I tell him I recently retired from the fire service.  He puts out his hand for a fist bump and says, “Cut from the same cloth.”  I have long enjoyed the camaraderie that has gone along with being in the fire service.  It is immediately comforting to know that you are with someone likeminded with a shared set of values or experiences. 

When I was in my 7th or 8th year of college, I was taking a psychology class where the idea was discussed that we are more similar than we are different.  I totally agree and will go a step further to say I believe we seek those that are similar or have similar interests or things in common.  Think about going on a first date or striking up a conversation with a stranger.  The first few things you will likely talk about is the weather, what you do for work, family, etc.; all things we all have in common.  I have long thought it would be interesting to have a party with only firefighters (in red shirts) and law enforcement officers (in blue shirts) in attendance where we could monitor who they connected with to see if they primarily conversed with “their own” people.  I believe there would be big chunks of red shirts, big chunks of blue shirts and smaller groups of mixed red and blue shirts.  Don’t agree?  Take a group of your peers and go to a regional class and see how many sit at the lunch table with their group versus walking up to a table of strangers.  

If you are going to be a leader in your work, at your place of employment or industry, you must seek those with a different color shirt.  You must seek out those that are different, that have a different set of values, beliefs, and experiences so that you may learn from them.  You must broaden your perspective, open your mind to another way.  I have seen so many firefighters that go to a class on subject X and return “preaching the gospel” of the instructor.  When they return to their next conference, they seek out that instructor or another with similar bias.  This is how you develop “One trick ponies.”  😉

True leaders can call on a variety of experiences, a wide berth of training from different perspectives or knowledge gained through contact with people that are from different backgrounds.  They continue to learn, discuss, argue, re-think their values and beliefs as well as putting multiple tools in their tool box which they can use to apply solutions to challenges they face.  If you only have a hammer in your tool box, everything looks like a nail.  

Challenge yourself.  Next time you go to a meeting, a class, lunch or even coffee, step away from your group.  Engage with someone besides your regular group.  Make it a total stranger.  See what is going on in their world.  I guarantee you will enrich your life, pick something up from it that will impact your world.  

Words Matter!!

When I left South King, I was blessed with an amazing retirement get together consisting of friends, family, enemies and fire people.  I felt so loved and appreciated.  It really made my time spent in the fire service in Washington seem worthy. The thing that struck me the hardest was a couple of people’s specific comments.  Comments like “Chief, when I was in the academy, you said.....”. Or “I remember the first fire I went to and you said..... “.  One person even reached out to me via social media saying “I so appreciate all you did for me and the impact you had on my career....”.  I couldn’t even recall this person let alone what I could have done for him.  All of these people shared stories with me that were important to them, perhaps even instrumental in their development, that I couldn’t recall.  I couldn’t remember the moments, the words or the actions.  It was all just part of doing my business, just a day in the life.

Legacy.  I say “Everybody leaves a legacy....sometimes it’s good.”  Apparently, and according to those who spoke up, I was creating my legacy without even knowing it.  I wasn’t aware of the impact that my words or actions were having on people.  I certainly wish I would have known at the time that my words, in the lives of those new in the industry, were leaving a mark.  An indelible mark.  A mark that was recalled some 25-30 years later.  

While you are cruising through life and your work, choose your words and your actions carefully.  Think about the impact, or at least the impression, they will leave.  Words matter.  Especially to young people whether they are children or people young in your industry.  Your actions speak to your character.  

You will leave a legacy.  What will it be?  Good or bad? 

Pride In the Small Things

(Originally Posted to Facebook and Instagram in September 2019.)

Friday before last, I had the opportunity to talk with our newest recruit firefighters for the last time.  The last recruits I will welcome to the fire department.  8 of them.  I wonder how many I have welcomed across my cawreer; no way of knowing.  Anyway, below is what I shared, my thoughts from the Wednesday before when I washed my car, reflecting before turning it in.  

As I washed my car, I wondered how many times I must have washed a fire department rig over my time.  I thought about what it meant to complete that task and how it got started.  I spent about 3 hours washing and cleaning it before handing it over to my replacement, Gary H. 

I told the recruits that I remember washing fire engines and staff cars way back to when I was a volunteer.  After Tuesday night training or a call in the middle of the night, we would wash.  We may have been watching TV in the day room when the rig returned from an incident, but we all migrated to the apron to wash.  No one ever told me to go wash the engine; we just did.  I saw others do it, so I did it.  Tradition.  

We then talked about how washing the apparatus was an act of taking care of it.  We took care of it so it would take care of us....in service to the community.  It was no different than any other maintenance we performed, except that it was the most visible.  We took a lot of pride in our apparatus, and the care thereof.  The apparatus belonged to the community, as they paid the taxes that purchased them; we were just the custodians.  Pride.  

I then reminded the recruits of two items I showed to them in my Commitment presentation their first week; one being a small embossed coin with an angel on it and the other being my first career fire helmet.  The coin was given to my partner John F. and I by a community member who stopped by the station.  She called us her “Angels on the hill” and it represents commitment to the community.  The helmet is the helmet I wore in March of 1985 when my partner Kerry M. and I pulled a guy out of a burning house.  The helmet represents commitment to myself and the job I was sworn to perform.  I said I would do the job and when called upon to do it, I did.  

I asked the recruits which item they thought I would be most proud of.  One young man suggested the coin and I ask him why he felt that way.  He said because the community member gave it to me, that they took time to stop by the station and deliver it.  He was spot on.  Pride in the small things.

We then talked about the helmet and the rescue.  Was I proud of that?  Absolutely.  But, it was just doing my job, the job I asked for, that they equipped me for, trained me for.  No different than when the trash collector picks up your garbage or mechanic repairs your car. I am no better, no bigger, just different.  Not heroism, just doing the job.  I then shared that we need to keep it all in perspective, that we need to remain humble so as to maintain our relationship with our community and it’s members.  Humility in the big things.  

Pride in the small things, humility in the big.  They can live in harmony as long as we maintain the proper perspective.  

I then told them I was thankful for my time with them, told them I loved them like family, gave them hugs and we were done.  It was hard.  Just like that, it’s over.    

Pride and humility.  

Showing pride in the small things, the things that may get you no recognition, that are sometimes mundane.  You won’t get an award for doing the small things and you shouldn’t need it. However, pride in the small things will pay you back when you get to the big things.  Regardless of your profession, paying attention to detail and taking pride in being a professional in your field will reward you repeatedly.  Not award, reward.  Reward that comes from inside you for a job well done, from running a “tight ship.”  

As you move through life, through the small things, eventually, something big will happen.  It might be the rescue, it might be your student wins a Nobel peace prize and thanks his/her 3rd grade teacher, it might be your son or daughter makes the decision to not drink at a party and says “Thanks Mom.”  Don’t expect an award because you don’t need it.  Humbly seek that reward that comes from inside knowing you have done good work.  The reward that comes with humility will outlast any award ceremony you may attend.   

Pride in the small things and humility in the big ones. I have tried to live that through my career. This week I am proud of the work I have done, feeling like I made a difference. I am humbled by the love and support shared by so many. 

Fire!!! Just Show Up!!

If you think about it, being a firefighter is the EASIEST job in the world.  I know because I did it.  You show up when things are going to hell, you do whatever you can and it gets better.  Even if you do nothing and it burns down, it will eventually get better.  It’s a no lose situation.  Show up at a CPR and maybe you get a save, maybe you don’t.  If you don’t,  no worse than when you started because you started with a deceased patient.  Console and support those who lost a love one and you are way ahead.  Winning is easy!!

Ok, that was a little tongue in cheek, but only a little.  Let me tell you about one of the calls I remember most fondly.

When working in Des Moines, we used to go out to Huntington Park (retirement community) all the time because the residents were all elderly.  We used to go see this one guy that had a stroke (and other ailments) that would fall regularly.  His wife was a lovely little woman that was providing great care for him; compassionate, loving, gentle care.  But he was a lot for her to handle and he was declining pretty rapidly.  Over the course of a couple years I saw this couple probably 12-15 times.  I got to know them, understand their situation and to a degree, their commitment for one another.  

One day we get called for difficulty breathing.  I arrive with my crew  and find this gentleman at the end.  It wasn’t difficulty breathing, it was difficulty living.  He was truly end of life with compelling reasons to withhold care.  The options for care were limited to full CPR, supportive care for the patient or withholding care due to end stage illness.  We could have provided oxygen for the patient which would have delayed the inevitable for a short period.  As I talked with his wife about what to do, we discussed all the past, present and future.  She decided that supportive care was not the best option and I stood with my arm draped around her shoulders as her life partner passed.  It was horrible and amazing at the same time.  It was so sad to see life long partners part ways but amazing to be allowed to be present at this crossroads.  I am honored she called to share this moment with us.  

The only thing that was needed to be successful was to be present.  I (and my professional crew) was there for the survivor at her time of need; she was the patient.  I did nothing except share with her our options, let her decide and then stand next to her as he took his final breath. No heroics, no dramatic actions.  Just being present.  

You want to be a hero?  Ok, show up!  Be present! It’s not that hard.  It isn’t about the heroic action, it isn’t knowing the answer.  It’s about being present in your moment, being compassionate, being empathetic, about caring about others.  Be present.  That is what will make you a hero.  In the life of your kids, your partner, your work team.  Being a hero isn’t about saving a life, it’s about giving OF yourself to others.  Be present.

Change-Dramatic or Subtle?

I’ve thought about this photo and it’s meaning (to me) often since I snapped it. As I rode that day, and reflected, it became more and more clear.  Here’s my take:

Much like life, this river simply follows it’s course, everyday.  In the absence of something dramatic, perhaps even catastrophic, it’s path doesn’t change.  However, if something dramatic does occur and the path does change, the river seeks a new direction, resumes it’s flow and adjusts to it’s new path.  Soon enough, this new path becomes the norm until the next change. 

What does your path look like?  How do you feel about change?  Can you adjust to gradual change or are you waiting for something catastrophic?  

Dramatic is ok. But I say control and embrace change before something catastrophic occurs.

Mission-Vision-Values: What They Can Do For You!

In 2008, after being promoted into the Training Division, I was a little lost on what I was supposed to do.  I didn’t receive any expectations or guidelines from my boss, had no experience in the role and didn’t get a poke from my predecessor.  I had to figure out what I was supposed to do.  It was then that I committed to paper, for the very first time, my Mission statement.  I always had one in my head but it became very useful once I wrote it out.  It went something like:

“My Mission as a Training Officer is to share my training, education and experience in an inspirational manner that will help others achieve their maximum potential.”

Over the last couple months, I have been working with various people trying to help them achieve their goal(s).  A method that has worked well for me is to map it out so that I have a clear path to follow.  This is what I shared with them.  

Mission-Vision-Values.

I use Mission, Vision and Values (MVV) to help me make decisions and clarify the path.  You might have your MVV in your head, but to be effective, you need to get yours on paper.  It helps having it on paper so you can see the words.  If you write it down, others can hold you accountable to it which will help you hold yourself accountable to it.

Mission:  Why you exist.  It applies in all roles you fill; as an employee, a Son/Daughter, Parent, leader/supervisor, volunteer, etc. in both your personal and professional life.  For this exercise, to reach this goal, let’s just think of it as a young person wanting to start a caareer in your particular field.     “My Mission is to (your field work)......”.   Think about it, write it down, read it out loud, re-write it.  Once you have it nailed down, you use it to make decisions.  Mission is more tangible, measurable.  

An example, if you were getting into education, your mission may look like this; “As a teacher, my Mission to share knowledge and skills as well as my passion for learning with all students that enter my classroom.”

Once you have this, you can ask questions against it such as in this example;  

A class on how to teach to children with learning disabilities is offered in a neighboring community that requires you to spend the night away from home.  You ask yourself, “Does this help me meet my mission?”  If the answer is yes, then you commit to the class.   If the answer is no, then you pass on the opportunity.  

Hopefully, that makes sense.  

Vision:  What “it” looks like or the picture on the wall.  Think of this from the perspective of you, with a job in your field, or education as we have used for our examples.  What do I want my life or family life to look like?  

Here is an example:  

“I want to live a life as an educator in my community while having a traditional family that is full of joy/happiness.”  

Service to community is kind of tangible.  Hard to truly measure joy and happiness... You know what it is when you see it, but you can’t pin a score on it.  You can probably see how it is more a picture of a white picket fence, kids on swings laughing, baking bread, etc.

I would think of your vision based on your position right now; a young person working on establishing a career, exploring life and yourself, etc. 

Values:  Those things you won’t compromise or you put ahead of all else.  Honesty, integrity, fun, humor, hard work, openness, etc.  Your values help clarify or establish who you are for others.  If you value humor but you never laugh at yourself or get angry when others poke fun at you, maybe humor isn’t one of your values.

Do some thinking and put something down on paper; putting it on paper will help you get clarity.    

After you establish M-V-V, you can move onto action items that will be the path to follow to your objective. 

If you want to follow this path, and need assistance, please hit me up.  I can guarantee it works, that it will help you achieve your goal.

What I learned in Jail!!

We used to go to the DMPD jail a lot.  Holding cell check ups.  It was always fun to see our friends from the PD but at 0230, the cops thought it was funny to wake us up.....see after thoughts.  

We are there one night visiting with a drunk, kinda-asshole guy that is less than cooperative.  I am pretty frustrated (read: pissed off) and about finished with my evaluation of the guy and ready to turf him back to PD. 

As we are finishing paperwork and visiting with PD, I am listening to this guy talk to the PD officer.  I hear him telling a story of discourse with his wife and trouble at work.  He decided his best course was to drown his problems and got picked up for a DUI.  I realized right then this is a normal guy with a normal life with normal problems.  He just got caught.  

That moment changed my career....and my life forever.  You can’t always see the demons that someone else is fighting.  You don’t know their story.  Not an excuse for his (their) actions but maybe we, those with less demons, should be more understanding.  Just be nice.  Simple.  

Afterthought:

DMPD used to always laugh when the called us in the middle of the night.  “OH....did I wake you?” was the normal response.  Joke was on them though.  My response was “Yeah, you did.  Oh....do you get to sleep at work?”  Yeah, I was smart enough to pass the fire test!!!!  DMPD ❤️

Ambassadors!!

We were heading for a night on the town and I was talking with a friend who has worked in a couple different agencies but is retired from the State Police.  He was sharing some stories about his career and one of the most important lessons he learned from one of his inspirational leaders.  One of his early supervisors told him that the most important part of his job as a State Police officer is to be an ambassador for the organization.  Not writing tickets; being an ambassador.

Across my career, I have tried to be an ambassador for not just for my organization, but for the fire service as well.  Through my expectations, I have asked all the people that I have worked to also be ambassadors for the service as well.  Let’s explore what it means to be an ambassador for your organization and field by looking at Webster’s definition.

Ambassador:

-noun

1. a diplomatic official of the highest rank, sent by one sovereign or state to another as its resident representative (ambassador extraordinary and plenipotentiary).
2. a diplomatic official of the highest rank sent by a government to represent it on a temporary mission, as for negotiating a treaty.
3. a diplomatic official serving as permanent head of a country's mission to the United Nations or some other international organization.
4. an authorized messenger or representative.

As you read those definitions, you might think this is all government, associated with rank, political, official business type of work.  But pay attention to the last definition; “An authorized messenger or representative.”  If that isn’t you, please stop reading.  When you are doing your business, interacting with others through your work, you are representing your organization.  Notice I didn’t say employer, but organization, because the same is true when you volunteer in different capacities.  

Let me state here that being an ambassador for your organization/industry is not always simply acquiescing or agreeing with those you are serving!!!  It is more like just not being an ass!   Learn to disagree/direct/counsel with respect.  

As a member of the fire service, I had an obligation to provide service to our community members.  They called and we went.  We couldn’t opt out depending on the type of incident we faced or the person that called.  And a lot of the calls were not what I might have defined as an “emergency.”  However, it was an emergency to them.  

We didn’t compete against anyone for providing the service.  We pretty much were sole source for emergency service.  They depended on us to answer and solve their problem.  That could have made me (fire department) feel arrogant or entitled.  However, a couple things played into the relationship between public service agency and community member.  Think of it as symbiotic.  They needed us but we needed them.  

While the community relied upon us to respond in the time of disaster (few and far between for most people), we needed the community support to maintain our operation.  The community pays for, through taxes or levies, our buildings, our wages, our equipment, our utilities...everything.  It would be pretty hard to go to the community and ask for a tax increase if the we had demonstrated a lack of “giveashiteddness” by not taking care of the equipment they bought for us or by not demonstrating respect for those we serve.  

Sometimes it’s hard to be an ambassador for your organization.  For me, I would be called back to see the same person over and over and over again (E.V.-see the story in the afterthoughts if you are interested).  Sometimes it was people at the jail-again, another story.  Maybe you are tired because you didn’t sleep the night before.  Or maybe you are having relationship issues, your car broke down, rent is due.  Maybe your boss is an ass or you didn’t get the raise you wanted.  All the above.....??  Not a single one of those issues is because of the person standing in front of you.  If you are in a position of service (which is 95% of people) you have an obligation to put those outside stressors to the side and 1) provide service to the customer you serve and, 2) do so as an ambassador for your organization.  If you can’t do that 95% of the time, you are in the wrong organization/business.  

Perhaps you are a 95-percenter and today is a bad day and you can’t be the ambassador for your organization.  Then step aside, tap your partner on the shoulder and say “you take this one, I can’t.”  That is a way better option than making a black mark on your reputation or that of the organization.

I have seen a good number of people that are not good ambassadors for their organization or industry.  Sometimes it has been through the eyes of the customer as I relied on someone for service.  A LOT of times it has been as the organizational representative sent to apologize for someone else’s behavior.  I have tips that can help you with the apology, but I can’t do anything for you as the customer.    

Try to be the ambassador for your organization.  Make others see your industry as “a bunch of really nice people.”  The relationship you can develop and the equity from doing so will pay you back a thousand times over.  

Afterthoughts:

E.V.  So, J.E.D. (Amazing individual and one of the best officers I have ever met!!) and I respond to see E.V. (229th and 30th) again for like the 700th time for a problem I can’t recall.  You see, sometimes she would call if she heard the engine driving through her apartment complex or if she saw us on inspections.  All I recall is that she can’t reach her medications or has “pain” or something.  I am talking with the patient and feel myself getting short with her so I step aside to go count pills.  I ask J.E.D. To step in to the patient interaction.  I listen as J.E.D. and E.V. visit about her current issue and I hear her say “That other guy is an asshole.”  I smile, although only on the inside.  J.E.D. says, with a smile, “No, he’s actually not, he’s just having an off day.”   

As a side note to that day.  While I was fed up with E.V. and her repeated multiple calls, through counting pills that day, we discovered that her nephew was stealing her narcotic medication.  I made about 700 ( or was it 7,000) phone calls and got her the help she needed.  Shortly thereafter she moved into an assisted living facility where she could get the help/support that she needed for her advanced age and condition.  

After-afterthought.....or side side note.....After all the E.V. drama was done and we hadn’t seen her in several weeks due to the new living arrangements, we are walking though an assisted living facility that we went to a couple times a day and I am looking at the room numbers and names.  And right there in 226 is.....E.V.!!!! 😳

Reputation or Character?

Somewhere around late 2012, I was asked by our Training Division if I would come down to Training to talk to the new hire firefighters.  The request came with no particulars, no expectations or guidelines.  I was a reasonably young Battalion Chief and jumped at the idea to come visit the new kids.  Understand, new people has always been a favorite part of my job. 

While at home the day before my presentation, I started thinking about what I should tell the eager, young recruits.  Hmmm.  I thought I should share a little bit about me, my past, a few expectations and ask them to share something with me.  Yeah, that’ll do.  Easy.  

I walked around the house picking up mementos from over my career.  A concert ticket from Sammy Hagar that I went to on my first day as a career firefighter, the helmet I wore when I rescued someone from a fire, my Officer of the Year pin, National Fire Academy badge, a small pewter coin with an angel on it given to me by a citizen, a picture of my fire academy graduation with my first Chief, first badge and a picture of my family.  I chose those items a little bit randomly but also for what they represent.  More on that another day.  

Armed with my “Bag of Trinkets Speech” I headed in.  I gathered the group into a tight circled and went through each of the items explaining what it is and what it represents.  I passed each item around so they could touch it, feel it, experience it.  I also asked them for a commitment to whatever the item represents.  As an example, the NFA badge represents continued commitment to education and lifelong learning.  I ask that they commit to continued education and learning.  It was a VERY emotional presentation, catching me off guard.  All these small keepsakes represented my path through the fire service.  It was a reflection of where I had been and what I had done and I was VERY proud of it.  They were good sports not making fun the BC because I shed a few tears in front of a group of grown adults.  I have done the same presentation every year since and every time it is an emotional rollercoaster.  

I felt like I was hitting on all cylinders.  I shared a little of me and my past, now just a couple expectations.

I asked the group to define “reputation.”  They punched around a bit but really landed on the definition as being “the way others see you.”  I then went on to ask them to define “character.”  Again, we used a few words, some hit and some missed but we finished with “the way you actually are.”  We also talked about how an organization can have a reputation and a character.  

We then talked about how long it takes to build a reputation and all agreed it takes a long time with consistent behavior to build it.  Additionally, we talked about how quick you can damage your reputation (a thousand bridges, Nick?).  We then talked about organizational reputation and how quickly it can be damaged.  

I finished with this expectation, using these exact words:  “I will do everything I can to help you succeed in your career, investing whatever it takes.  However, if you do something that embarrasses the organization or it’s Fire Chief, or something that damages the organizational reputation, I will do EVERYTHING in my power to get rid of you, to get you fired.”  Pretty simple.  I have shared these words with every group of new hire firefighters since that first opportunity.  Maybe only about 50 or 60 people.  And since that day, since I developed clarity or understanding on my value in this area, I have only had to bounce people back in bounds a few times and only went to termination once.

People don’t get out of bounds too often.  But when they do, someone needs to call them out, get them back in line.  Have the courage to protect the organizational reputation because that reputation bleeds over to yours.  Someone who sees an unprofessional organization may say “Yeah, Jane works for that organization; what a bunch of dipsticks!!”  You owe it to the organization you chose to work for, who provides you with your everything to stand up for their reputation.  Plus, you don’t want that black mark hooked to your wagon because someday, you might need to move on and your reputation, or that of the organization, is all your prospective employer might have to go on.  

What’s your reputation?  Is it close to matching your character?  

P.S.  The bit about termination due to embarrassing organizational reputation.  Remember when I talked in a previous post about expectations starting the conversation?  When I had to talk to this person about their behavior, I said “Remember when I said ‘If you embarrass the organization or Chief or do anything to damage the organizational reputation, I will do everything to get rid of you? Today, you embarrassed the organization.”  I think it was clear to this person where I was headed because the expectation was clear. 

I Failed!!

1982-1 

1983-5

1984-7

1985-1

1993-1

1994-1

1995-1

1999-1

2001-1

2002-1

2005-1

2010-1

2011-1

2012-1

The above years and numbers of failures only relate to my attempts to get a job/promotion.  Only one body of work.  There may have been a few more but these are the ones I recall the best.  I was hired or promoted 6 times over the span of my 37+ years in the fire service.  But, 24 times, I failed.  1 success for every 4 attempts.  I failed 3/4 of the time.  

You can only succeed if your are willing to fail.  The only sure way to avoid failure is to not attempt to succeed.  There is no risk in not giving it a shot.  

Failure is more than just not succeeding.  It is your opportunity to attempt something that may be above your range or out of your comfort zone.  It is an opportunity to learn something about yourself as well as whatever you are attempting.  If you don’t want to learn about yourself, learn about your field, don’t want to push yourself to improve, then don’t try.  Be good with not taking chances, be ok with not exposing yourself to risk.  If you want to remain status quo, then stay on the bench.  

Failure can be embarrassing.  Failure can be discouraging.  But better to have tried and failed than to not have tried at all.  If you attempt and fail, you can at least say you put yourself out there, opened yourself to being vulnerable, took a chance on yourself.  That is what leaders do.  

When you are watching sports highlights, you will see Super Bowl winning plays, world record pole vaults, and fastest lap times.  But if you take a look at the blooper reel, you might see some of those champions failing to cross the finish line because they ran out of gas or the vault that goes under the bar. 

The steps to the top, whatever your top might be, are built on failures.  Show me a great leader, a successful person (or organization) in their industry and I can guarantee that we can dig up a list of failures.  

WD-40.  You heard of that.  It got it’s name because it was the 40th attempt at the product recipe.  They tried one, it failed and they retried.  And they are still producing it today.  Kodak was THE film company. The digital era wasn’t the downfall of Kodak.  Kodak invented the first digital camera but out of fear for their film products didn’t capitalize on their technology.  Today, they are still in business but continue to struggle because they didn’t put themselves out there (vulnerability) haven’t evolved, didn’t learn from their mistakes.  The Wright Brothers had multiple failures before their craft took to the skies.  

Go out, try, fail, learn and move on.  If the pain of failure is too much, consider staying where you are comfortable or change your path to something easier where you won’t have any failures.  But if you want to live your fullest, try, attempt, challenge yourself, fail and learn.  If you do that enough times you will find success.