We Are All More Alike Than We Are Different...Unfortunately!!

I was headed out this afternoon for a windy day dog walk when I crossed paths with a fisherman.  We talked briefly about fishing in this little lake, other fishing in the area and such.  I noticed he was wearing an City of Imperial Fire shirt so I asked if he is a firefighter.  Of course he is so I tell him I recently retired from the fire service.  He puts out his hand for a fist bump and says, “Cut from the same cloth.”  I have long enjoyed the camaraderie that has gone along with being in the fire service.  It is immediately comforting to know that you are with someone likeminded with a shared set of values or experiences. 

When I was in my 7th or 8th year of college, I was taking a psychology class where the idea was discussed that we are more similar than we are different.  I totally agree and will go a step further to say I believe we seek those that are similar or have similar interests or things in common.  Think about going on a first date or striking up a conversation with a stranger.  The first few things you will likely talk about is the weather, what you do for work, family, etc.; all things we all have in common.  I have long thought it would be interesting to have a party with only firefighters (in red shirts) and law enforcement officers (in blue shirts) in attendance where we could monitor who they connected with to see if they primarily conversed with “their own” people.  I believe there would be big chunks of red shirts, big chunks of blue shirts and smaller groups of mixed red and blue shirts.  Don’t agree?  Take a group of your peers and go to a regional class and see how many sit at the lunch table with their group versus walking up to a table of strangers.  

If you are going to be a leader in your work, at your place of employment or industry, you must seek those with a different color shirt.  You must seek out those that are different, that have a different set of values, beliefs, and experiences so that you may learn from them.  You must broaden your perspective, open your mind to another way.  I have seen so many firefighters that go to a class on subject X and return “preaching the gospel” of the instructor.  When they return to their next conference, they seek out that instructor or another with similar bias.  This is how you develop “One trick ponies.”  😉

True leaders can call on a variety of experiences, a wide berth of training from different perspectives or knowledge gained through contact with people that are from different backgrounds.  They continue to learn, discuss, argue, re-think their values and beliefs as well as putting multiple tools in their tool box which they can use to apply solutions to challenges they face.  If you only have a hammer in your tool box, everything looks like a nail.  

Challenge yourself.  Next time you go to a meeting, a class, lunch or even coffee, step away from your group.  Engage with someone besides your regular group.  Make it a total stranger.  See what is going on in their world.  I guarantee you will enrich your life, pick something up from it that will impact your world.  

Words Matter!!

When I left South King, I was blessed with an amazing retirement get together consisting of friends, family, enemies and fire people.  I felt so loved and appreciated.  It really made my time spent in the fire service in Washington seem worthy. The thing that struck me the hardest was a couple of people’s specific comments.  Comments like “Chief, when I was in the academy, you said.....”. Or “I remember the first fire I went to and you said..... “.  One person even reached out to me via social media saying “I so appreciate all you did for me and the impact you had on my career....”.  I couldn’t even recall this person let alone what I could have done for him.  All of these people shared stories with me that were important to them, perhaps even instrumental in their development, that I couldn’t recall.  I couldn’t remember the moments, the words or the actions.  It was all just part of doing my business, just a day in the life.

Legacy.  I say “Everybody leaves a legacy....sometimes it’s good.”  Apparently, and according to those who spoke up, I was creating my legacy without even knowing it.  I wasn’t aware of the impact that my words or actions were having on people.  I certainly wish I would have known at the time that my words, in the lives of those new in the industry, were leaving a mark.  An indelible mark.  A mark that was recalled some 25-30 years later.  

While you are cruising through life and your work, choose your words and your actions carefully.  Think about the impact, or at least the impression, they will leave.  Words matter.  Especially to young people whether they are children or people young in your industry.  Your actions speak to your character.  

You will leave a legacy.  What will it be?  Good or bad? 

Pride In the Small Things

(Originally Posted to Facebook and Instagram in September 2019.)

Friday before last, I had the opportunity to talk with our newest recruit firefighters for the last time.  The last recruits I will welcome to the fire department.  8 of them.  I wonder how many I have welcomed across my cawreer; no way of knowing.  Anyway, below is what I shared, my thoughts from the Wednesday before when I washed my car, reflecting before turning it in.  

As I washed my car, I wondered how many times I must have washed a fire department rig over my time.  I thought about what it meant to complete that task and how it got started.  I spent about 3 hours washing and cleaning it before handing it over to my replacement, Gary H. 

I told the recruits that I remember washing fire engines and staff cars way back to when I was a volunteer.  After Tuesday night training or a call in the middle of the night, we would wash.  We may have been watching TV in the day room when the rig returned from an incident, but we all migrated to the apron to wash.  No one ever told me to go wash the engine; we just did.  I saw others do it, so I did it.  Tradition.  

We then talked about how washing the apparatus was an act of taking care of it.  We took care of it so it would take care of us....in service to the community.  It was no different than any other maintenance we performed, except that it was the most visible.  We took a lot of pride in our apparatus, and the care thereof.  The apparatus belonged to the community, as they paid the taxes that purchased them; we were just the custodians.  Pride.  

I then reminded the recruits of two items I showed to them in my Commitment presentation their first week; one being a small embossed coin with an angel on it and the other being my first career fire helmet.  The coin was given to my partner John F. and I by a community member who stopped by the station.  She called us her “Angels on the hill” and it represents commitment to the community.  The helmet is the helmet I wore in March of 1985 when my partner Kerry M. and I pulled a guy out of a burning house.  The helmet represents commitment to myself and the job I was sworn to perform.  I said I would do the job and when called upon to do it, I did.  

I asked the recruits which item they thought I would be most proud of.  One young man suggested the coin and I ask him why he felt that way.  He said because the community member gave it to me, that they took time to stop by the station and deliver it.  He was spot on.  Pride in the small things.

We then talked about the helmet and the rescue.  Was I proud of that?  Absolutely.  But, it was just doing my job, the job I asked for, that they equipped me for, trained me for.  No different than when the trash collector picks up your garbage or mechanic repairs your car. I am no better, no bigger, just different.  Not heroism, just doing the job.  I then shared that we need to keep it all in perspective, that we need to remain humble so as to maintain our relationship with our community and it’s members.  Humility in the big things.  

Pride in the small things, humility in the big.  They can live in harmony as long as we maintain the proper perspective.  

I then told them I was thankful for my time with them, told them I loved them like family, gave them hugs and we were done.  It was hard.  Just like that, it’s over.    

Pride and humility.  

Showing pride in the small things, the things that may get you no recognition, that are sometimes mundane.  You won’t get an award for doing the small things and you shouldn’t need it. However, pride in the small things will pay you back when you get to the big things.  Regardless of your profession, paying attention to detail and taking pride in being a professional in your field will reward you repeatedly.  Not award, reward.  Reward that comes from inside you for a job well done, from running a “tight ship.”  

As you move through life, through the small things, eventually, something big will happen.  It might be the rescue, it might be your student wins a Nobel peace prize and thanks his/her 3rd grade teacher, it might be your son or daughter makes the decision to not drink at a party and says “Thanks Mom.”  Don’t expect an award because you don’t need it.  Humbly seek that reward that comes from inside knowing you have done good work.  The reward that comes with humility will outlast any award ceremony you may attend.   

Pride in the small things and humility in the big ones. I have tried to live that through my career. This week I am proud of the work I have done, feeling like I made a difference. I am humbled by the love and support shared by so many. 

Fire!!! Just Show Up!!

If you think about it, being a firefighter is the EASIEST job in the world.  I know because I did it.  You show up when things are going to hell, you do whatever you can and it gets better.  Even if you do nothing and it burns down, it will eventually get better.  It’s a no lose situation.  Show up at a CPR and maybe you get a save, maybe you don’t.  If you don’t,  no worse than when you started because you started with a deceased patient.  Console and support those who lost a love one and you are way ahead.  Winning is easy!!

Ok, that was a little tongue in cheek, but only a little.  Let me tell you about one of the calls I remember most fondly.

When working in Des Moines, we used to go out to Huntington Park (retirement community) all the time because the residents were all elderly.  We used to go see this one guy that had a stroke (and other ailments) that would fall regularly.  His wife was a lovely little woman that was providing great care for him; compassionate, loving, gentle care.  But he was a lot for her to handle and he was declining pretty rapidly.  Over the course of a couple years I saw this couple probably 12-15 times.  I got to know them, understand their situation and to a degree, their commitment for one another.  

One day we get called for difficulty breathing.  I arrive with my crew  and find this gentleman at the end.  It wasn’t difficulty breathing, it was difficulty living.  He was truly end of life with compelling reasons to withhold care.  The options for care were limited to full CPR, supportive care for the patient or withholding care due to end stage illness.  We could have provided oxygen for the patient which would have delayed the inevitable for a short period.  As I talked with his wife about what to do, we discussed all the past, present and future.  She decided that supportive care was not the best option and I stood with my arm draped around her shoulders as her life partner passed.  It was horrible and amazing at the same time.  It was so sad to see life long partners part ways but amazing to be allowed to be present at this crossroads.  I am honored she called to share this moment with us.  

The only thing that was needed to be successful was to be present.  I (and my professional crew) was there for the survivor at her time of need; she was the patient.  I did nothing except share with her our options, let her decide and then stand next to her as he took his final breath. No heroics, no dramatic actions.  Just being present.  

You want to be a hero?  Ok, show up!  Be present! It’s not that hard.  It isn’t about the heroic action, it isn’t knowing the answer.  It’s about being present in your moment, being compassionate, being empathetic, about caring about others.  Be present.  That is what will make you a hero.  In the life of your kids, your partner, your work team.  Being a hero isn’t about saving a life, it’s about giving OF yourself to others.  Be present.

Change-Dramatic or Subtle?

I’ve thought about this photo and it’s meaning (to me) often since I snapped it. As I rode that day, and reflected, it became more and more clear.  Here’s my take:

Much like life, this river simply follows it’s course, everyday.  In the absence of something dramatic, perhaps even catastrophic, it’s path doesn’t change.  However, if something dramatic does occur and the path does change, the river seeks a new direction, resumes it’s flow and adjusts to it’s new path.  Soon enough, this new path becomes the norm until the next change. 

What does your path look like?  How do you feel about change?  Can you adjust to gradual change or are you waiting for something catastrophic?  

Dramatic is ok. But I say control and embrace change before something catastrophic occurs.

Mission-Vision-Values: What They Can Do For You!

In 2008, after being promoted into the Training Division, I was a little lost on what I was supposed to do.  I didn’t receive any expectations or guidelines from my boss, had no experience in the role and didn’t get a poke from my predecessor.  I had to figure out what I was supposed to do.  It was then that I committed to paper, for the very first time, my Mission statement.  I always had one in my head but it became very useful once I wrote it out.  It went something like:

“My Mission as a Training Officer is to share my training, education and experience in an inspirational manner that will help others achieve their maximum potential.”

Over the last couple months, I have been working with various people trying to help them achieve their goal(s).  A method that has worked well for me is to map it out so that I have a clear path to follow.  This is what I shared with them.  

Mission-Vision-Values.

I use Mission, Vision and Values (MVV) to help me make decisions and clarify the path.  You might have your MVV in your head, but to be effective, you need to get yours on paper.  It helps having it on paper so you can see the words.  If you write it down, others can hold you accountable to it which will help you hold yourself accountable to it.

Mission:  Why you exist.  It applies in all roles you fill; as an employee, a Son/Daughter, Parent, leader/supervisor, volunteer, etc. in both your personal and professional life.  For this exercise, to reach this goal, let’s just think of it as a young person wanting to start a caareer in your particular field.     “My Mission is to (your field work)......”.   Think about it, write it down, read it out loud, re-write it.  Once you have it nailed down, you use it to make decisions.  Mission is more tangible, measurable.  

An example, if you were getting into education, your mission may look like this; “As a teacher, my Mission to share knowledge and skills as well as my passion for learning with all students that enter my classroom.”

Once you have this, you can ask questions against it such as in this example;  

A class on how to teach to children with learning disabilities is offered in a neighboring community that requires you to spend the night away from home.  You ask yourself, “Does this help me meet my mission?”  If the answer is yes, then you commit to the class.   If the answer is no, then you pass on the opportunity.  

Hopefully, that makes sense.  

Vision:  What “it” looks like or the picture on the wall.  Think of this from the perspective of you, with a job in your field, or education as we have used for our examples.  What do I want my life or family life to look like?  

Here is an example:  

“I want to live a life as an educator in my community while having a traditional family that is full of joy/happiness.”  

Service to community is kind of tangible.  Hard to truly measure joy and happiness... You know what it is when you see it, but you can’t pin a score on it.  You can probably see how it is more a picture of a white picket fence, kids on swings laughing, baking bread, etc.

I would think of your vision based on your position right now; a young person working on establishing a career, exploring life and yourself, etc. 

Values:  Those things you won’t compromise or you put ahead of all else.  Honesty, integrity, fun, humor, hard work, openness, etc.  Your values help clarify or establish who you are for others.  If you value humor but you never laugh at yourself or get angry when others poke fun at you, maybe humor isn’t one of your values.

Do some thinking and put something down on paper; putting it on paper will help you get clarity.    

After you establish M-V-V, you can move onto action items that will be the path to follow to your objective. 

If you want to follow this path, and need assistance, please hit me up.  I can guarantee it works, that it will help you achieve your goal.