Hope.  A four letter word.   

I’ve been trying to get back to writing for quite some time because I find it therapeutic. However, I have been challenged over the last X number of months as I have watched as our country torn into warring factions; Black Lives Matter vs blue lives matter, republican vs democrat, pandemic vs hoax, vaccine vs anti-vaxxers.  Social media has been full of hateful words, lies and weird conspiracy theories.  I have watched as friends dissolved age old relationships, siblings got nasty with each other and the relationship amongst our country’s leadership project a horrible example.  

I wanted to write but felt there wasn’t any point in doing it. I felt like I had a little to contribute.  I didn’t have answers and I certainly didn’t want to contribute to the anxiety by sharing my opinion.  Moreover, I couldn’t get my thoughts straight in my head as there were so many. Reflection became a painful effort.

I spent time reflecting on how my wife and I raised our children and how I raised young firefighters.  At work and home, I believe I was careful to instill the values of people first, compassion, empathy, humility, understanding, acceptance, and tolerance. Additionally, at work I tried to teach brotherhood/sisterhood, service before self, unity and professionalism. As I have watched the actions of our leader ship across the country, I began to  wonder if my efforts were misguided or pointless.

I was traveling on January 6 with no access to news so I arrived home with no idea of the events that had taken place at our nations capital. By the time I tuned into the news, our Congress had reconvened and our representatives were making speeches condemning the actions of the group of insurrectionists. At the time, I didn’t realize that this was part of the testifying process contesting the election. I listened to the words carefully and felt a sense of hope that our country would become reunited and that the disparaging behavior that was, would soon come to an end.

 As I watched the presidential inauguration, I felt an additional renewed sense of hope.  As I listened to the speakers, I continually heard a message of unity, tolerance, and acceptance. The words of Amanda Gorman in her eloquent poem illustrated our struggles, our objectives and our goals. Her words were a challenge to each and everyone of us to push ourselves to do right, not just for us but for our country and our children’s future.  Her words were a call to action, an action that will be hard, that will require sacrifice of us all.  

Over the last few days I have seen some headline news about some of our states representatives and their aberrant behavior. The way they treat each other, the words that they choose and they hate that they spread is personally disheartening. I have seen the behavior of our country’s “leadership“ translate to people I know in my personal life. The casual manner with which our leadership refers to others with whom they disagree in derogatory terms has rippled into our personal lives. My hope is starting to fade.  

Hope is why I am writing.  Hope.  I believe hope is one of the things that inspires us to....act, push ourselves, to try.  In my life, when I have felt no hope, I have felt a sense of emptiness, a lack of purpose, a sense of drive.  I am hoping that I can “get back on the bus” as we try to turn the page as not only a nation, but also as a society.  I am realizing that patience accompanies hope.  It won’t happen quickly.

If you are still reading, I thank you.  I thank you for stretching yourself to the point to see another’s perspective.  I thank you for sharing my words with the hope that your words are encouraging, supporting and open minded and without hate.

In the past, a number of people have indicated they appreciate that I share my thoughts and perspectives.  I am going to attempt to write a couple things over the next couple weeks.  I want to write again, to share my thoughts again.  Perhaps, I can share something with you and you can share something with me that helps us both.  I hope.